My First Lyric Essay: Chased Out Of The Woods By The Boston PD

Hi folks,

In order to improve my writing skills, I signed up for a class with AndiLit. For our homework today we have to write a lyric essay. If I can write a lyric sentence I will be surprised. I thought that it would be a swell idea to subject y’all to my first attempt, in the hopes that one of you might provide me with some artistic guidance before final copy is due on the desk of the ‘boss’ of AndiLit, Andrea, by 8:00 pm sharp on Thursday. Of course, I will give you due credit, and I must add that I haven’t seen anything in the small print of my agreement with AndiLit indicating that I am forbidden to take this approach.

For the essay, I chose an event that I endured during the Boston Marathon, in 2009. I was reminded of this ‘happening’ whilst listening to an interesting talk by David Sedaris. Andrea brought this clip to my attention as part of a previous homework assignment, which reveals the eclectic nature of our ongoing literary education.

Chased Out Of The Woods By The Boston PD

by Kevin Morgan (FitOldDog)

I qualified in Charlotte, at Thunder Road, that was quite a day. Then the excitement mounted as the Boston Marathon approached. An impending storm, scary but exciting. I was coached, fed and rested, as I mounted the runner’s bus, headed for the start, but to our dismay the trip was long, the air cold, the road anything but smooth. I pleaded with the driver, who was sympathetic as he explained, his job was on the line. His role to maintain his position in the queue that stretched for many miles. We hung on, and clung on, and crossed our legs, and tried to look the other way. Finally we were there. The doors opened so slowly, to disgorge us onto the margin of a wooded copse. What luck we exclaimed, whilst scrambling for cover. Near release from the pain at last, but what is this? A billy club? A large man? Policemen in uniform? ‘Everyone out of the woods, this is private property. Be gone, all of you!‘ I thought as I retreated, “is it out of bounds to the deer and the raccoons.” I turned and ran, but not from fear, but desperation, and I was not alone. Glancing at the swollen portapotty crowd, hundreds deep, to which we were directed by the men in blue, by the sidewalk we peed, guys and girls. Everyone of us oblivious to the passersby. Minds and bodies focused on the task at hand. The policemen watched our display but didn’t say a word!

I never did work out why they did that, but as there is plenty of time before the start, you can hydrate after getting off of the bus. This approach would make that long journey from the center of town much more pleasant.

Otherwise, it was a perfect day. How they manage to organize a race so smoothly with 25,000 competitors I have no idea. I guess they have had over 100 years of practice.

-k Your Medical Mind


  1. Hum…do I detect a toilet theme in your literary output??? Good tale, brilliant video clip.

    However I do not understand the term “lyrical essay”
    I know a lyric and lyric verse. I know essay, Carlisle wrote a few. The combined term I guess is from your course. How does a lyrical essay differ from an essay?

    • Trevor,
      A lyric essay is an essay that uses some of the elements of poetry – rhythm, rhyme, alliteration, consonance, etc – in the language. In many ways, the language choices are as important as the content in a lyric essay.

      This link might help you get a better sense of the form –

      Hope that’s helpful,

      • I guessed the meaning so tried. Is this one:

        It was cramped in that tight compartment; cramped and hot. The juddering of the final part of their journey had ceased. All was still. Still and they all sat there sweating and silent. They had to wait, to wait for the allotted time. Then slowly and silently each one of them put on his helmet. The hatch was opened. Here all below seemed empty, seemed still.

        So one by one they lowered themselves calmly and silently into the streets of Troy.

        (by me)

        (I am more interested in Narrative Lyrical verse myself)

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Disclaimer: As a veterinarian, I do not provide medical advice for human animals. If you undertake or modify an exercise program, consult your medical advisors before doing so. Undertaking activities pursued by the author does not mean that he endorses your undertaking such activities, which is clearly your decision and responsibility. Be careful and sensible, please.