Your Perception Of Yourself Creates Your World And Determines How Or Whether You Ask A Girl Out

Hi folks,

Great French food, presented in a perfect French manner, at the Provence Restaurant in Carrboro, NC, USA

You might wonder why I’m talking about dating, when (a) I’ve been in a great relationship for over five years, and I still am, and (b) this blog is about safe exercise for better health and people with aortic aneurysms. Let’s face it, an aortic aneurysm is bad, but a bad relationship can be worse. I’ve been there, I should know. Imagine choosing a car, but there is one special really nice car that bowls you over so much that you’re tongue-tied, and you don’t have the courage to ask the salesperson to show you that particular car, which you really want, and you settle for some other car (which might be great for someone else, but not you). Nonsense, right? Well, when it comes to asking a girl out if you are at all shy this is essentially what happens, and you miss your chance. Took me until my 50s to work that one out – it’s all about overcoming poor self esteem and not taking rejection personally.

Deb at our favorite table in Provence

Once you are confident that you really are an OK guy, you relax, and when you see a girl you REALLY like you don’t miss the opportunity. Why they don’t teach this in school I have no idea, because it gets in the way of people making the right choices. The bottom line: if you say to yourself, “She’s too pretty (tall, intelligent, rich, well-dressed, educated, classy, whatever), she wouldn’t go out with me,” then you probably won’t ask her out or she’ll pick up on your negative self-flagellating vibes and say “No!”

When I saw Deb for the first time my immediate and unhesitating response was, “Do you want to go out with me, I’ll take you to Provence, either one, whichever you prefer?” How was that for a line, and it wasn’t preplanned, it just popped out of my mouth from nowhere. About one year later she said, “Yes!” and that was was ‘all she wrote.’

Well, we never made to THE Provence yet, but in January we plan to take the trip referred to in this poster (I found it on the bathroom wall in the Carrboro Provence).

Athletics has similar issues.

You have to have the confidence to go for the race you really dream about. If you think, “I’m not a real runner, I’ll never qualify for the Boston Marathon,” then you probably won’t. I thought that very thing for a long time, but in 2009 there I was in Boston, and it was a blast. Furthermore, Deb, plus Nick and Jess (her ‘kids’) were there as supporters.

It all comes down to your psychological state, which affects how you perceive the world and how the world (including the girl of your dreams) perceives you.

Go for it, man!!!

-k @FitOldDog