“So like the Black Eyed Susans, the wilting and withering are real and not going away. Neither is the chronic pain those with connective tissue disorders have.
But whereas pretending only went so far before and the answers to my gloom did not lie in distractions, expectations, faith or hope, I now know where to look.
I think the answers to my questions about beating my depression lie in the indescribably magnificent love of those individuals touching my life yesterday, today and forever.”
An inspiring article on living with Marfan Sydrome, by another Kevin.
Hi folks! Welcome to this part of my life, writing, which I enjoy!
FitOldDog with his three wonderful sons, almost 40 years ago. I thought I was happy, but I wasn’t.
The solutions to our problems, be they tight shoulders or an unhappy spirit, are often simple and right in front of our noses (sometimes you have to use a mirror), and completely invisible without a little work, including some healthy meditation and input from skilled mentors.
Here is a simple tip for freeing up your shoulders, that I received from my dance and Continuum teacher, Rebecca, and my Feldenkrais instructor, Karen, and which is finally really fixing my tight pecs and locked shoulder blades, to the benefit of my swimming, biking, running, and even sitting and walking. To loosen your shoulders one trick is to improve your posture by sticking out your butt, just the right amount, which causes your pelvis to sit nicely on your hip joints, in a free and healthy way, and you will immediately feel about one inch taller as your shoulder blades slip down you back and your chest opens up to let the sunshine in. That’s it. A simple meditation to try as you stand waiting for the kettle to boil for your tea, or the coffee to brew, in the morning.
Happy now, with my three sons and my sister Marian on my wonderful 70th. birthday. Lucky bastard is all I can say – I finally worked it out. It’s about appreciating what you have today, but in order to do this you have to find the self you lost during your journey through childhood. Look carefully, and you’ll notice I’m sticking out my butt.
Fixing your broken spirit is quite another thing, but equally solvable. We come with tapes running in our heads, implanted by well or not so well-meaning parents, siblings, friends, and other people in our lives as we wade through the adventure of childhood. But beware those negative tapes – mine were,
“You are short!” “You are not attractive!” You are not intelligent!” “You have a terrible memory!” “You can’t find your way anywhere!” “Your eyesight is no good!”
After three marriages, and three beautiful sons by the first, several years of talk therapy, combined with inner child work, writing endless diaries, and reading every self-help book I could find, [the best were,
- The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck, causing me to take responsibility instead of blaming others,
- Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody, which helped me to discover and then reset my mental and emotional boundaries]
I discovered these lies in my head, labeled them as such, and found that by cutting the tapes I was an OK guy after all. This led to firmer internal and external boundaries, and here I am, not perfect, but:
Happy as a clam, sticking out my butt!
-k @FitOldDog
Yep, I just tell that critical judge voice, “Go away, I don’t listen to you anymore.”